Find yourself before someone else does
When the evenings start getting colder, you notice that the person you wanted actually turned out to be the feeling you chased so bad. You didn’t want the person to love you, you just wanted to feel loved. Why choose them specifically? Because they do it most easily just the way you’d like.
When the air settles, you realize that all the bleak winter nights brought you wasn’t just depression and hopelessness but also a slight hint of the gifts spring has to offer. Something to look forward to but seeing how long it’ll take for you to get there, you stop. You’d rather be killed in a car accident than to face aching legs upon reaching your destination. But no car crosses and just like that days pass by and you realize it does get better eventually. The flowers in spring don’t make you forget about the lifelessness in winter but it reminds you that it does get better in the end. After every spring, winter must arrive. Snow covering the flowers that bloomed bright; but after the winter, spring must come too.
When the clock strikes 12 you think you’ve left them in the past but all you’ve done is push their thought down and let it rot before it’s smell gets to you again and you would have to relive the pain, the memories and the echoes of laughter. The flesh would give you nightmares so its better you don’t shove the thought down but confront it and find peace. If it aches for you not to be the one loved and always the one loving, maybe try to love yourself first. The rest will follow.